Need More Time? Learn How To Say "NO" (And Improve Your Business)

Self Development
The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything. ~ Warren Buffet

A lot of people have a hard time saying "No." They say "Yes" to favors, asks for help, additional services, etc. even though everything inside them then screams "no – don't agree to that!" No wonder they end up having hard time managing their time. Have you ever been in this situation? Saying "yes" to something you really wanted to say "no" to?

Why do you have such a hard time saying "NO"?

It's because people aren't loners, we live in groups. And thus,we want to be approved by our environment. Included, not excluded.Consequently, we act in ways that favor social approval; one of them is saying"Yes" to other people's requests.

Such a need for social approval fosters our feelings of wantingto:

  • be part of the group (socially accepted),
  • be a team player (cooperation),
  • do what we can to avoid ostracism, criticism, and exclusion,
  • care about other people's opinion of us,
  • improve our self-esteem by popularity (reputation).

As you can see, it's easy to go overboard with "yes." The need for social acceptance, being liked or well thought of by others could take over your life. The trap, though here is that if you overcommit with "Yes's" too much, you end up saying "No" to personal priorities and can miss out on opportunities as well. You can end up stressed, anxious, and develop regrets over having to compromise to honor all your commitments. And what good such feelings bring on you or others?

Live your life for you, not for anyone else. Don't let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself ~Sonya Parker

So, what can you do then to start saying "No" moreoften, gain more time to work on achieving your goals, and improve yourbusiness? Here are five strategies to help you do that.

1. Be clear on your priorities.

When you clearly define priorities and goals and take action on them, you set boundaries for yourself and start utilizing your time more effectively. That's why you'll be able to assess if the request coming from the other person aligns with your goals or not. As such it's more natural to decline: "Your idea sounds great politely! It's just that it doesn't align with my priorities this month. Maybe X can help (you can refer then to a person to someone whose priorities might be aligned with the request)?"

2. Stop & listen first

Instead of just saying "Yes" to all incoming requests,partner with requesters to fully understand the ask, and maybe you decidetogether what makes sense for you to do, and in what time frame. For example,if your client is asking for a "small favor" right away, understandfirst if indeed it's small and you can fit it into your current schedule. Ifit's Big Work on the other hand then politely mention that this wasn't part ofthe original agreement and that you can quote the job. Then upon approval agreeon a timeframe that will work for both.

3. Understand & change your beliefs if needed

There is a reason behind every action. Identify the beliefs thatlead you to say "yes" often. Perhaps you believe that saying"no" makes you look bad or that you'll be rejected by the personasking. Then write down all the consequences saying "yes" all thetime would have on your life, business and well-being. Next, create morepowerful beliefs. For example, excellent quality is more important thanquantity. Saying "no" is respectable when it comes from the rightplace. People respect others who respect themselves.

4. Balance "Yes" & "No"

When you say "yes" to what is in front of you, you'resaying "no" to something else that might be more important but lessvisible. For a few days, try assessing what you'd be giving up and if it isworth it. Improving your services or products? Speaking engagement? Potentialclient meeting? Your family? The exercise? If it's worth the loss, then go forit with your arms wide open. When you continually make such consciousdecisions, you can balance what you're saying "yes" and"no" to overtime.

5. Throw the guilt out the window

Guilt is often the culprit that causes us to say "yes"more often than "no." We don't want to disappoint people. If you areguilty of feeling bad when you say "no," recognize this. Write theword on a sticky note and stick somewhere you can see often. Such visual onwhat's driving your decisions to say "yes" can help rewire your brainto say "no" more often.

And if you can't quit saying "yes" cold turkey, trychanging your habit through baby steps. For example, by offering thealternative to the ask: "I'm not able to help you with the move the entireweekend but can come over on Saturday for a couple of hours and help you pack."

All in all, learning to say "no" when it aligns with your goals and values can be liberating and eye-opening.

You'll have more time to devote to activities that are important to you (your business and life). You'll end up with less stress, anger, or resentment. You'll have more energy, optimism, and a greater sense of control over your time and life.

Remember, we only have a finite number of years to live.Therefore, don't be afraid to take control of your time so you can live yourlife to the fullest.

And if you need help in practicing how to say no politely and professionally without sounding rude, I have prepared for you a list with 39 Ways to Respectfully Say "NO." Click here to download it so you can start practicing now!

You have a freedom of choice. Use it. Say 'NO' to things that don't align with your values and priorities. - Stairway to Leadership