Quite often we interpret an e-mail or somethingsomeone said to us in a negative light. Right after that, we get upset orstressed about it, only to find out later that our interpretation of thesituation was not precisely accurate. Or in the worst-case scenario, we reactto it with anger, which creates a spiral of misunderstanding, hurt feelings andlost "relationship chips," especially in our professional lives.Let’s face it; we have all been there.

I can’t even count how many times someone accused me of ignoring their e-mails only to realize, they sent an e-mail to a different Maggie or made an error in the email address.

Take a second and honestly respond to thisquestion. If you had 5 good little things happen to you in a day, 4 neutral and1 less good (bad or mildly bad), which thing you are going to remember themost? We all know the answer, don’t we?

Why is that? Why do we tend to see more of the negative in others as opposed to the good?

It’s because of our so-called brain’s negativebias. In the caveman ages, this type of bias (focus on the bad, ignore thegood) was necessary to save our lives. Human’s survival instinct allowed ourrace to expand and become a dominant species. Yey to us!

However, in the 21st century, this bias became more of an unnecessary system glitch and is hurting us more than protecting from life perils.

This glitch works in such a way that when we feelsurrounded by bad or at best neutral qualities in others and barely notice thegood ones, subsequently we feel less supported, less safe, and less inclined tobe generous or pursue our dreams. And on the other hand, when another persongets the feeling that we don't see much good in them, they are less likely totake the time and see the good in us. Sounds familiar? I am sure you can thinkof at least one moment from last week when this scenario happened to you.

So, what would happen then, if we tried to flip thescript, made a conscious effort, and started assuming positive intent in ourinteractions with others?

Let’s explore four super-powers of assumingpositive intent that all leaders can use.

1. Enhance your personal brand

As leaders we are always being watched, whether wewant it or not. Leading by example can be a lonely gig.

Remember a time when a bad word slipped your tongueonly so that you 3-year old could learn and use it at the most inconvenientmoment in public? The same happens at work and your employees.

That’s why becoming self-aware and learning how tocontrol and direct our negative emotions, will save us from falling into trapsof doing something that can damage our reputation and we will laterregret.

2. Become a better boss

When we assume positive intent when interacting with others, especially our employees they can see we are on their side. Just like you most people want to do a great job and be successful and are not planning to ruin anyone’s day.

Putting ourselves in other’s people shoes enablesyou to act with empathy and look at things from their perspective. Thisattitude allows our employees to trust us because they see we are on theirside. With trust, we strengthen our relationships, create win-win situations,and in consequence, we can motivate people to help us succeed in our businessmission.

3. Be more strategic

Moreover, when we take a moment, avoid reacting toissues and start assuming positive intent, we begin assessing the situationfrom different angles. Such an approach not only builds our strategy muscle butalso with a changed perspective can reveal solutions that we would not havethought otherwise or present us with opportunities we did not expect.

It's like coming out of a basement with only onesmall window to look outside to a large bright central room with windows givingyou a panoramic view on the area.

Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. You will be amazed by how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different - Indra Nooyi

4. Grow into a happier person and with that a better leader

Assuming positive intent starts with our thinking. And Mahatma Gandhi described it the best, nothing more is needed.

Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive, because your words become your behavior.
Keep your behavior positive, because your behavior becomes your habits.
Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.

Mahatma Gandhi

What can we do then to overcome our biases andbecome masters at assuming positive intent?

First, let’s recognize & acknowledge that most people just like ourselves are good human beings. Whatever they do, they want to do best they can and have no intention of making your life difficult. They want to excel at their job, be challenged and successful.

Secondly, let’s make a conscious effort tounderstand people’s point of view and put ourselves in their shoes. It willchange our perspective on how we perceive them and allow us to be moreempathetic. Maybe that e-mail from your peer that seems rude was sent it themidst of a crazy and stressful day, and they did not think about proofreadingit? Or the mistake that your employee made that caused an escalation you had todeal with was because you did not communicate your expectations clearly?

Thirdly, let’s lead by example. Take a few momentsto cool down before responding to an e-mail that seems rude. If you know youare clouded in your judgment by negative emotions, ask for help from people whodo not have any stakes in the situation. Their interpretation and suggestionswill help you become more objective and consider different scenarios.

Lastly, watch and enjoy the below TedX: Hardwiring happiness: Dr. Rick Hanson at TEDxMarin 2013.

The speaker shows a trick on how to rewire your brain to start consciously noticing and storing the good, as opposed to the negative. It’s worth watching!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpuDyGgIeh0

If you enjoyed my blog, please share it with others who will feel the same about it.

"Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it"- Confucius